Mary Jane tale.

So here I am, making a difference in the world. I bet, with as much monopoly money as you'd like, I can get all of my 3 readers to think twice next time when they want to light up a fatty. The dedicated peeps at D.A.R.E. might even want to send a sizable check my way for doubling their influence with, if I may say so myself, remarkable style. I know, most of you were down right giddy a minute ago about the possibility of me brown nosing Mary Jane (or any other name you might want to give the fair lady), my apologies. Fear not, this isn't what you think either. 

This is a story about a friend (Sidenote: When we rolled through the supermarket on the day in question, we saw two girls walking in front of us, one "black" and the other one "yellow". Surely, I pointed this other to him and made a remark about the perfection of the situation because my buddy is "black" and I of course am "yellow". He went on to tell me that he prefers Latin women apparently due to the amount of donk that they posses. Myself being not a fluent speaker in slang, inquired about the meaning of said word. He manages to tell me that it derives from badonkadonk with you know repeated 43 times as if my multiple exposure to you know would suddenly make me realize that, yes, I do KNOW. What a weird guy). I am a man of my word, of course, and I promised said person I would not be disclosing his name for fear of uncontrollable blushing if he ever happens to meet one of you. Doubtful I told him, but he insisted; and although we at the clan (not to be mistaken with the Klan) posses all characteristics of a high school bully, we tend not to practice peer pressure. So I feel the need to apologize for not having a name for this fellow. 

Let's call him N because he is pretty proud of being nigerian and of his last name which, let me tell you, is a handful to pronounce. So there I am at CSU Pomona (which I was certain to have stood for cow studies university at pomona, but it actually stands for california state university, who knew), N and I did our brohug thing with the intensity of this but perhaps not the creativity. It was decided that after a little soccer (what did you expect from an Asian and an African) that we would go to the Evidence and Alchemist concert. Sweet. I was excited for the opportunity to bob my head in unison with African Nation. 

Before the concert, N informs me that he wants a little session. If your mind wondered to something besides a smoke session, shame on you. So we went the typical route, I'm sure you know how it went down. Shady spot, shady white dude... Nothing special happened at the concert, though I must say, Evidence renewed my interest in rap music. Here's a clip. I was in quite a zone, humming to myself, when the skies parted, the moon came out, and THE question was raised. This is how the conversation went.

"I am hungry"

"What do you want to eat?"

"Cereal"

"...what"

"AND cake.. yeaaaaaaa" (There were some hardcore lip licking right about now)

"....... what"

"Lets go to the supermarket"

"Sigh"

Photo evidence below.

What a spiffy young man, you say. 

You should see what he decided as his dinner.

Even the cashier knew.

Kids, here's the lesson, don't smoke weed. If you really are in need of a good time, abuse other substances. Unless, if your desires are to one day be like Notorious B.I.G. without well.. the notoriety, then by all means, go for it. Obese children are quite the problem. 

Sincerely,

Raymond "still in need of a menacing nickname" Chau