Im satired of taxes

In lieu of the recent tax day headaches, many of you guys may undoubtedly have experienced, we at generation aptathy currently do not suffer at the hands of the tax man, but it does not mean we do not empathize with our readers whose day is made frustrating through the unintelligible tax code the US possesses. So for our readers I mock filled a 1040 and it goes something like this...

name: Charlie
DOB: Old enough to drink
Personal Income: I have a paradoxical enjoyment of the progressive tax code here...
Number of dependents: hmmm..contraceptives=$2...illegitimate children=$500 per...invest for the future here
Employer- where's my job, Obama?!
Deductions: If i could find all those happy hour receipts now....
Contraceptives- Does the gov't really want more of us around?
Taxi Cabs- I do my part, "buzzed driving is drunk driving" according to the gov't, this should be deductible
Newspapers- Its a dying industry that your (Obama, Again) undoubtedly going to bail out.

And now that another tax day has gone by and you get to wonderfully see a substantial amount of your income being given out to the old people, the poor people, and to the children, remember that taxes is the American way. Rather we wouldn't have such a lovely nation, if our forefathers had not complained about their taxes. So for all you working people out there, keep on it. I one day will look into some child's eye and say...$2 dollars deductible and $500 tax refund in the same fiscal year...what a great country.

marathon

I've always admired the people who ran marathons. Of course, there's the chiseled body, the single digit body fat(mines in the double digits, lets just leave it at that), but what gets me is the ability to do the same thing over and over and over again for x hours without any interruptions to the repetition. It's just, left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, so boring; yet they can do it. I am never one to admire something and not try a similar feat myself; thus, I must report that I have just completely a 12 hour marathon of Warcraft III. 

It was epic.

Sometimes I was so good, the game was telling me I am Godlike(having a computer tell you that you are are Godlike may sound nerdy, but it actually feels pretty damn good), other times I was so bad the people in the game call me a noob. There were times when I wanted to have a drink of water, or stuff my face with food, or go to the bathroom, then I think to myself marathons are without interruptions. I soldiered on. In the end, it was fuzzy eye sight and a blasting headache that did me in. I finally threw in the towel. If I was still a young man maybe I could have gone another 12 hours (24 hours gaming binge was the norm back in the days), but no, I am an old man. It may be time to ponder retirement. Hall of fame. Maybe.

What did I learn from this ordeal? I am Godlike.

The end

sincerely,

Raymond Chau

soccer is THE sport.

treehuggin.

I am a treehugger. I am the guy who blocks traffic by cruising on the freeway at 60 miles an hour to save gas or put my car in neutral on a slope or not use air conditioning (mythbusters showed that this actually doesnt help with the gas saving but it makes me FEEL like I am saving gas). For us nature loving people, an important holiday just passed. No, not 4-20 you fucking stoners (smiley face, i say this with love). April 22nd was Earth Day; it is to celebrate our accomplishments and to remind us we can do more(and we must). 

I am here to confess my sins. 

I sucked this year as a treehugger. If there was a league for treehugging, I would be batting last at Single A or the 12th man in NBDL. Just down right disgraceful. I have one habit, to call it bad would be an unmistakable understatement. When there is eating involved, I must wipe. There is an urge, a motherfucking desire to just take a large stack of napkins and wipe away. Wiping happens on the first bite, it happens during chewing, it MUST happen after chewing. Shameful. I'd go through a few trees if I am eating something with my hands. It goes something like this, bite, wipe, chew, chew, chew, wipe, suck fingers 1,2,3,4,5, wipe, wipe, wipe. I have issues. 

In honor of Earth Day, please reflect.

Why are YOU a wasteful bastard?

sincerely,

Raymond Chau

Spot that Asian!

Every now and then, I'll write up an Asian spotlight blog to highlight the ever increasing population of those who are marked under "Asian American/Pacific Islander" because it is my belief that our presence has moved now beyond the cubicle warriors on the daily grind and entrepreneurship. Yes that is right, I want to highlight Asian people who are wrecking the white people's shit... I mean, the people who are on the forefront of the amalgamation of our cultures...


This is Michelle Malkin, a republican pundit and conservative journalist. Well even though she is on the supposed losing side, I drop my hat to you Michelle for taking your place amongst the political process. Additionally, Michelle has made many appearances on the Bill O' Reilly show, a fellow republican broadcaster, and I would just like to say, if you had a show I would gladly skew my political beliefs to have you take over the Bill O' Reilly show. I'm doing it for our culture.

taekwondo

Dear Uncle Sam,

          Hi there, hope all is swell. I am writing this letter as a thank you, I suppose, for your contributions of me becoming a permanent house sitter, for the family estate. Ah, where would I be without your endless support and your timely decisions? OH right, I know, I would be doing a 9 to 5er (perhaps a 9 - 9er) somewhere. Miserable, its true. You saved me from that fate. (sweet dude, awesome, THANKS) Instead, I am currently working 9 - 5 on a very comfortable couch in the living room. I know I know, the pay isn't what they hype it up to be, but they give me food and a place to sleep, what more could you ask for right? I am THRILLED. Of course, this job does come with its share of burden, like being yelled at by the masters of the house. Its beyond me how they can say lazy 378903 different ways without sounding redundant. It is a skill that I have decided to learn for future benefits. (YEAH, my kids!) Anyway, I think you get the idea, I love you! 

Good luck with everything this year, 

Sincerely,

Your Nephew

Raymond Chau